My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
