Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
