her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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