you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
