I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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