I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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