We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
