Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i dont even know how to be here
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
