It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize