he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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