He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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