My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
