i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
