a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
i now understand why vodka
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Damn victory sex feels great
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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