I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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