careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
