Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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