DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
