so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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