I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
