he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Randomize
