I'm pants shitting drunk right now
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
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