threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
