We're facebook friends in real life
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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