You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Randomize
