The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
