my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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