I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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