I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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