Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I pour the whiskey from now on
All the doctor said was why
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
