Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
