i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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