:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
