I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
