Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
