K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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