weddingsv make me drug and hornr
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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