I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
