omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
