Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
