32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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