I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
