So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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