i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
