dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
