i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
