Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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