Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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