i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
