When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
he was CRYING into my vagina
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
