I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
