I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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